Insights

As i am sitting here thinking about what to write i sit with a heavy heart. A good friend of my family passed away recently and its finally starting to hit me. I wasnt as close with him as others but he was a really cool guy and he always believed in me and my dreams. Heaven has another angel to watch over us all, but im selfish and want all three of them here with us. Adams funeral services was yesterday and im saddened i wasnt able to make it. I know he knows my thoughts were with him and the family in their time of grieving. I miss my Uncle Kyle so much. He was my rock as i was fighting my way to my dreams... all the years i wanted to give up , i would think that he would be yelling at me if he knew what i was thinking so i kept truckin on. Blood sweat and tears got me to where i am today and where i will be eventually. Now im not a Miley Cyrus fan at all but she has a song that gets me everytime and its called "i Miss you" very good song.
With all that has gone on this week, it has made me very tired and irritable. Things seem to be getting so much more clear in life. Whether it be friend , family, work, etc issued.... im learning to let go of what was really truly never there in the first place. Ive been playing my mind into thinking it was. I feel i really cant trust the people i thought i could, and im tired of petty drama. it is really exhausting to keep up with it. I figure its time to distance myself from those type of people, and move on with my good group of friends who arent into any of that crap.  I just dont have the time or the patience for any of it anymore. Ive always been a good friend to people and in the end its me just getting stomped on, and looked down on. THeres only so much a girl can take before she breaks. One thing for sure i dont like is feeling like im constantly being checked up on, like im always doing something wrong, or there waiting for me to say something to use against me somehow... again, i dont have time for that.
on a brighter note, me and my hubby have officially started working harder towards getting a house. I cant wait for the day to have all the bills paid off, and we get that house, whether its a fixer upper or our dream house. Im tired of being in an apartment where theres no room to breathe. Im sure most of you will be invited to our house warming! LIfe is starting to kick up again, and i couldnt be happier with how we are living it. Lifes too short to be miserable. Live it up day to day, and never have any doubts or regrets. Learn from your mistakes and move on to the future. A good friend of ours is deploying to Afghan next week. It worries me that he will be gone so long away from his wife and child, but i know the sacrifce hes making for the rest of us. I hope you all will pray for his safe return home and maybe even help send out a carepackage for him. Rachel, be strong , i know you will. and remember im always here for you and mason.... Even if we are at each others throats occasionally. Lol.